You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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