I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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