Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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