PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
