I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
