May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
