I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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