Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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