mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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