How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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