remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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