Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
