So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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