After last night, I could never be a politician.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
