thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
