I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Come see our sink grown plant.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
