just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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