ugly people sure do ruin things
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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