he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
