You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
