I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize