The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
