I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
