I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
