Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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