I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
