just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
