Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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