its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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