you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
