Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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