Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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