You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize