God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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