a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
