There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize