Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he thought i was a dude.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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