There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
