Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
