my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
