I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
