dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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