Non-Jews are for practice
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
