Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
