They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
