in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We need a shit load of segways right now
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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