absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
