What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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