porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
