god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
