I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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