idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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