porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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