Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize