he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
is wine microwaveable?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
