whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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