i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
