apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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