The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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