What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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