when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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