i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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