I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
