There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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