i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
