Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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