Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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