I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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