Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
