Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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