i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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